A little while ago, someone commented on my previous blog post summerizing my Externship as a Disney College Program Culinary Assistant II experience. They said:
"Thank you for posting about your experience at Disney!
I just got accepted into the Culinary Program for Baking/Pastry,
and I've been thinking about whether to accept it or not.
I found your blog very helpful! Thank you for sharing."
I spent some time considering their words, and what I could say to them; especially since I don't know if my previous comments left them with a positive or negative view of what could be in store for them. And so, while I have no way of knowing if this will get back to the original commenter, I thought it was worth sharing with everyone else. Because I care deeply about this, and want future College Program participants to succeed. Because it is so very worth doing. Better yet, it is most definately worth doing well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Anonymous,
I would like to thank you for your feedback. As hoped, lableing the blog posts with the Disney College Program made it possible to be found by others who might be wanting to know more about the program from someone who has been there.
Before I embarked on my own journey, I scoured the internet for videos, letters, articles, blog posts, anything that I could find that might give me some idea of what I was getting myself into. While I found several "apartment tour" videos by generic CP cast members, I found very little about the culinary porgram itself.
And that was why I vowed before I left that I would put something out there for those that follow to find; which was intended, of course, to be helpful.
I don't know if you will read this reply, or if it matters to you, but reading your response made me immediately think, "Ack! Wait, what did I write?? Did they get good advice?? I don't want to mess up someone else's opportunities or experience!!"
So, with that in mind, I hope that you were able to read in to all of my disclaimers and caveaughts about how my particular experience turned out, and that it doesn't reflect necessarily negatively on the Disney College Porgram itself.
I was the first and only Baking & Pastry student from my school accepted into the CP program, and it was difficult to know what I was getting myself into. Though I had completed all of my B&P courses, and worked in two bakeries previously, obviously Disney is a whole new level of excellence.
The work itself was not difficult or overly demanding. But I was not in the best place in my life to go when I did. So, if you have two small kids and a husband in a strained marraige waiting at home and you find yourself pregnant while trying to do this... then I'd seriously suggest you reconsider if this is really what you want to do right now. But, that would be a HUGE coincidence, and not likely how your experience would go.
Of the other Culinary CP that arrived when I did, there was one other B&P student. She was placed where I had wanted to be and doing what I had hoped to do, and she did spectacularly. She came from a stronger background, having grown up in her mother's bakery. She also graduated from her school. And, she clearly did much better on her interview because her foundation was stronger, so she was placed better.
I am so very proud of her. She is living the dream with three of my other roommates from my CP days who all became full-time Cast Members.
Also, there has not been a single day that has gone by that I havn't felt anxious and remourseful about how things turned out for me. I spent most of January in shock. I couldn't believe it was all over, and I kept replaying every moment over and over in my mind; wishing I could go back and get it right this time.
And, I miss everyone I worked with in that Bakery. They are some of the most talented, kind, hard working people I have ever had the pleasure of associating with. And if I was given the opportunity to work there again, I would be there at the drop of a hat.
So, bottom line, I think anyone who has an opportunity to do so, should persue participation in this program. I'd advise them to evaluate if they want to do it at that time or not. Because, you can always re-apply or go as an actual intern instead of a CP later. But if you're in a place to do it, then I encourage you to try.
It was one of the hardest, most amazing, life altering expereinces of my adult life. I wish circumstances could have been tweaked better... But I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Incidentally, I plan on going back once I'm finished with Culinary School. And since I'll be taking my family with me, there won't be anything left to keep me away.
Besides, that's where dreams come true.
Cheers.
Showing posts with label Baking and Pastry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baking and Pastry. Show all posts
Friday, March 15, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Disney discussion: Shoulda, coulda, woulda, didn't
Wed, Dec 12, 2012
Before I embarked on this incredible journey as a Cast Member and College Program Culinary II intern with Walt Disney World, I had many reservations. So many people were very excited for me to have this opportunity. I appreciated their support and praise, and was thankful for their encouragement and advice.
But I also became keenly aware of the magnitude of responsibility such an opportunity presented. I knew this would be a demanding experience, and that I would likely be taxed far beyond any other employment or educational experience I had been through before in my life.
I was afraid that I would not be up to the task of completing the course or representing my school. Well wishers assured me that I would be fine.
And with a nervous smile, I jumped in feet first with goals for excellence and worst case scenario contingency plans.
The actual experience was familiar yet skewed into new surroundings. I had teammates, we had a set production menu for the day, and Chefs to report to. But the experience continued each day for twice as long as a normal class, instead of once or twice a week for a few hours. The menu did not change from week to week.
I could not familiarize myself with the recipes before or between production with recipe cards. The recipes were locked in the office, and I didn’t want to appear to be stealing company secrets by studying or copying them. Also, only the formulas were written, not the procedure.
But the worst part of all of this was that we didn’t get to taste what we made. The Chefs did not sample our product or critique it so we can learn what we have done correctly and what needs to change.
I had not realized before this experience how much I rely upon that constant feedback to hone my job performance and gain confidence that I am on the right track.
Even more than that, not tasting the product or receiving evaluation and feedback from the Chefs left me adrift without my main asset.
As a Culinary Student I created wonderful working relationships with my Chefs who became familiar with my work and the high quality of my products as well as my work ethic.
I would double check recipes and take precise measurements. I liked to get my mise en plas assembled before production so that I can completely focus on the process and finished product. I may take a few minutes more to get something done than those buzzing around me, but I made fewer mistakes, made consistently superior products, and was generally worth waiting for.
I work clean, methodic, and steady. I’ve always thought that was the most important thing.
Without knowledge of any of that the only knowledge of my ability or performance is based on did I or did I not clock in early. Did I or did I not work as quickly as those around me, who might I add, had been making these same products every day for years. And did I or did I not make product that looked about right. Not that anything I made was held up next to anyone else’s to at least see how the products compare.
So… I was measured and found wanting.
This experience changed my entire perspective of the Culinary Arts profession.
This is a business.
And the all mighty bottom line is more important than anything else as a deciding factor in what goes on in the kitchen.
In a high volume bakery, speed is much more important than accuracy or quality. As long as it looks about right and no one complains, then crank out as much as you can as fast as you can do it. And as long as we have enough product to fill client orders and keep their shelves stocked, then we’re doing a good job.
This experience made me realize a lot of things.
For example, perhaps I don’t want to be a Baker.
*gasp!!!*
While I do enjoy making tasty products, it’s the decoration and crafting of the finished product that excites me.
I like the variety of production that comes with a new challenge each day instead of making the same, undecorated, unfinished, naked products.
I think that was an important thing to realize before considering opening up a bakery of my own where the filled cupcake and cereal treat trays are what makes or breaks the business.
I spent much of my last few weeks fantasizing about what I would do differently if I were given the chance to create a company and run my own kitchen.
I would focus on special orders and food sculptures.
The artistry and challenge would keep me coming back for more.
Those in my employ would be paid by the project like a contractor and not just by the hour. The quality and consistency of their products would determine their pay rate. The better they work, the more money they make.
Also, when they complete their work, they can leave. So those impatient people who want to just get out of there? If they get the work done and get it done right, then they can go home early, and good for them. But if they mess up then they have to do it again.
This will help preserve resources since no one wants to do something over again, so they’ll take the time to do it right.
Also, if they take their time to get something just right and get the product done, or if they are easily distracted and keep wandering off or something, then I won’t be out any additional money while they were screwing around. And since the quality of their work determines their per project pay rate, they will take the time to make amazing products. The all mighty dollar will motivate the workers and that bottom line will be preserved.
And the need to keep clients coming back will encourage growth and change. And that will keep me coming back as well. And at the end of the day, if you don’t like what you do, or you don’t have room to grow, then you’ll quit and do something else.
And no one wants to start all over again. So I’d better take the time to do things right.
And that is okay with me.
Before I embarked on this incredible journey as a Cast Member and College Program Culinary II intern with Walt Disney World, I had many reservations. So many people were very excited for me to have this opportunity. I appreciated their support and praise, and was thankful for their encouragement and advice.
But I also became keenly aware of the magnitude of responsibility such an opportunity presented. I knew this would be a demanding experience, and that I would likely be taxed far beyond any other employment or educational experience I had been through before in my life.
I was afraid that I would not be up to the task of completing the course or representing my school. Well wishers assured me that I would be fine.
And with a nervous smile, I jumped in feet first with goals for excellence and worst case scenario contingency plans.
The actual experience was familiar yet skewed into new surroundings. I had teammates, we had a set production menu for the day, and Chefs to report to. But the experience continued each day for twice as long as a normal class, instead of once or twice a week for a few hours. The menu did not change from week to week.
I could not familiarize myself with the recipes before or between production with recipe cards. The recipes were locked in the office, and I didn’t want to appear to be stealing company secrets by studying or copying them. Also, only the formulas were written, not the procedure.
But the worst part of all of this was that we didn’t get to taste what we made. The Chefs did not sample our product or critique it so we can learn what we have done correctly and what needs to change.
I had not realized before this experience how much I rely upon that constant feedback to hone my job performance and gain confidence that I am on the right track.
Even more than that, not tasting the product or receiving evaluation and feedback from the Chefs left me adrift without my main asset.
As a Culinary Student I created wonderful working relationships with my Chefs who became familiar with my work and the high quality of my products as well as my work ethic.
I would double check recipes and take precise measurements. I liked to get my mise en plas assembled before production so that I can completely focus on the process and finished product. I may take a few minutes more to get something done than those buzzing around me, but I made fewer mistakes, made consistently superior products, and was generally worth waiting for.
I work clean, methodic, and steady. I’ve always thought that was the most important thing.
Without knowledge of any of that the only knowledge of my ability or performance is based on did I or did I not clock in early. Did I or did I not work as quickly as those around me, who might I add, had been making these same products every day for years. And did I or did I not make product that looked about right. Not that anything I made was held up next to anyone else’s to at least see how the products compare.
So… I was measured and found wanting.
This experience changed my entire perspective of the Culinary Arts profession.
This is a business.
And the all mighty bottom line is more important than anything else as a deciding factor in what goes on in the kitchen.
In a high volume bakery, speed is much more important than accuracy or quality. As long as it looks about right and no one complains, then crank out as much as you can as fast as you can do it. And as long as we have enough product to fill client orders and keep their shelves stocked, then we’re doing a good job.
This experience made me realize a lot of things.
For example, perhaps I don’t want to be a Baker.
*gasp!!!*
While I do enjoy making tasty products, it’s the decoration and crafting of the finished product that excites me.
I like the variety of production that comes with a new challenge each day instead of making the same, undecorated, unfinished, naked products.
I think that was an important thing to realize before considering opening up a bakery of my own where the filled cupcake and cereal treat trays are what makes or breaks the business.
I spent much of my last few weeks fantasizing about what I would do differently if I were given the chance to create a company and run my own kitchen.
I would focus on special orders and food sculptures.
The artistry and challenge would keep me coming back for more.
Those in my employ would be paid by the project like a contractor and not just by the hour. The quality and consistency of their products would determine their pay rate. The better they work, the more money they make.
Also, when they complete their work, they can leave. So those impatient people who want to just get out of there? If they get the work done and get it done right, then they can go home early, and good for them. But if they mess up then they have to do it again.
This will help preserve resources since no one wants to do something over again, so they’ll take the time to do it right.
Also, if they take their time to get something just right and get the product done, or if they are easily distracted and keep wandering off or something, then I won’t be out any additional money while they were screwing around. And since the quality of their work determines their per project pay rate, they will take the time to make amazing products. The all mighty dollar will motivate the workers and that bottom line will be preserved.
And the need to keep clients coming back will encourage growth and change. And that will keep me coming back as well. And at the end of the day, if you don’t like what you do, or you don’t have room to grow, then you’ll quit and do something else.
And no one wants to start all over again. So I’d better take the time to do things right.
And that is okay with me.
Disney week 10: Finale. (Finally?)
I never even finished this last one at the time. Here is what I wrote:
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Dec 12, 2012
As I write my final report of this experience, I am in the middle of driving home from Florida to Indiana.
Okay, I’m not driving right this moment.
That would be dangerous.
And probably beyond my mental capacity at the moment.
The end of my program came to an abrupt end. At the conclusion of my second to last week was the first day for two new college program students. There had also been a new professional intern the week or so before, and the other college program person had extended their program as well.
So with four extra people in the kitchen, the Chef pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to wrap things up a week early since he just has too many people on the payroll right now, and maybe it would be best for me in my "condition".
So, that became my last day of work. I thanked the Chef and finished working. Oddly, that was the hardest day I had experienced work wise in the entire program. And sadly, my favorite coworker was not there that day. So I promised to come back and say goodbye before I leave.
Returning the following day was bitter sweet.
It was sad to be there for a final time.
I timed my visit to be about when their lunch break would be so I wouldn’t bother them at work. When I walked into the cafeteria to say goodbye, said coworker, my Pueto Rico Papi, looked up and said “Oh, Mami, I’ve been crying all day. I haven’t gotten any work done because I’ve been crying and these one [gesturing to the new girls] is too slow.” He even offered to help me drive back to Indy.
After a few farewell hugs and pictures, I departed with as much professional dignity as I could muster.
And I miss all of them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*sad sigh*
My final days in the Disney College Program were filled with dread to leave because I knew I would never have an opportunity like this again, and impatience to return home to my family.
It took a few days to wrap up loose ends; make sure all of the paperwork and stuff was completed with each i dotted and t crossed. I turned in all uniforms, keys, and ID cards. I spent a couple fun nights saying goodbye to dear friends, and went back to my tiny apartment and packed some more.
Oh, and let's not forget the Christmas Shopping that needed to be completed!
I still feel guilty for missing both of my young children's birthdays. I was determined to make this the best, most generous Christmas ever.
Basically all of my tiny paychecks went to room & and board or presents for friends and family. What was the point of this whole ordeal if I didn't get to spoil my children, nieces, and nephews, and everyone who picked up the slack for me while I was away?
(And let me tell you, the loss of the cast member discount when I got back to real life was painful. lol)
But my main regret was that I didn't get to see anything of New Fantasyland before I left. And it doesn't seem likely that I will ever get such an opportunity to see it again. *sigh*
c'est la vi.
I miss a lot of it now. Particularly my best friends.
It was such a wonderful opportunity, and a beautiful nurturing place to live. ...
I brought home a couple house geckos with me that I caught outside my apartment before I left. They have adapted to their new terrerium, and grow fat and lazy under my lavish care.
*small smile* I look at them all the time with mixed feelings of accomplishment and sadness. Not just for now, but for opportunities lost all over. *staring whistfully into the distance*
...The drive home was an expereince all unto itself. I dislike roadtrips and closed in spaces. And I've never driven anywhere close to that far by myself before. But I knew it would have been so much more difficult to make room for another person to help drive me home. But more than that, I couldn't bare to have to talk about everything that's happened yet with no way out to get some peace. *sigh*
So, it took the drive slowly, stopped when I needed to, and listened to lots of showtunes. Each time I stopped for gas it seemed to be at least 10 degrees colder, and I was like, "Why the heck am I still driving north???!?" *laughs softly*
The hardest part has been the welcoming well wishers who want to hear all about the experience as they smile at me expectantly.
It is uncomfortable.
What can I say?
Pretend it was the best thing that ever happened to me?
Cop out and joke that it was humid?
I've mostly given mixed responses like, "It was an incredible opportunity. It was extreme and difficult. I am so thankful I was able to be there. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But hopefully not anytime soon, because it is just so wonderful to be home."
So that's the truth of how I feel. And now you know something of the sad details that played out in the background.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Dec 12, 2012
As I write my final report of this experience, I am in the middle of driving home from Florida to Indiana.
Okay, I’m not driving right this moment.
That would be dangerous.
And probably beyond my mental capacity at the moment.
The end of my program came to an abrupt end. At the conclusion of my second to last week was the first day for two new college program students. There had also been a new professional intern the week or so before, and the other college program person had extended their program as well.
So with four extra people in the kitchen, the Chef pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to wrap things up a week early since he just has too many people on the payroll right now, and maybe it would be best for me in my "condition".
So, that became my last day of work. I thanked the Chef and finished working. Oddly, that was the hardest day I had experienced work wise in the entire program. And sadly, my favorite coworker was not there that day. So I promised to come back and say goodbye before I leave.
Returning the following day was bitter sweet.
It was sad to be there for a final time.
I timed my visit to be about when their lunch break would be so I wouldn’t bother them at work. When I walked into the cafeteria to say goodbye, said coworker, my Pueto Rico Papi, looked up and said “Oh, Mami, I’ve been crying all day. I haven’t gotten any work done because I’ve been crying and these one [gesturing to the new girls] is too slow.” He even offered to help me drive back to Indy.
After a few farewell hugs and pictures, I departed with as much professional dignity as I could muster.
And I miss all of them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*sad sigh*
My final days in the Disney College Program were filled with dread to leave because I knew I would never have an opportunity like this again, and impatience to return home to my family.
It took a few days to wrap up loose ends; make sure all of the paperwork and stuff was completed with each i dotted and t crossed. I turned in all uniforms, keys, and ID cards. I spent a couple fun nights saying goodbye to dear friends, and went back to my tiny apartment and packed some more.
Oh, and let's not forget the Christmas Shopping that needed to be completed!
I still feel guilty for missing both of my young children's birthdays. I was determined to make this the best, most generous Christmas ever.
Basically all of my tiny paychecks went to room & and board or presents for friends and family. What was the point of this whole ordeal if I didn't get to spoil my children, nieces, and nephews, and everyone who picked up the slack for me while I was away?
(And let me tell you, the loss of the cast member discount when I got back to real life was painful. lol)
But my main regret was that I didn't get to see anything of New Fantasyland before I left. And it doesn't seem likely that I will ever get such an opportunity to see it again. *sigh*
c'est la vi.
I miss a lot of it now. Particularly my best friends.
It was such a wonderful opportunity, and a beautiful nurturing place to live. ...
I brought home a couple house geckos with me that I caught outside my apartment before I left. They have adapted to their new terrerium, and grow fat and lazy under my lavish care.
*small smile* I look at them all the time with mixed feelings of accomplishment and sadness. Not just for now, but for opportunities lost all over. *staring whistfully into the distance*
...The drive home was an expereince all unto itself. I dislike roadtrips and closed in spaces. And I've never driven anywhere close to that far by myself before. But I knew it would have been so much more difficult to make room for another person to help drive me home. But more than that, I couldn't bare to have to talk about everything that's happened yet with no way out to get some peace. *sigh*
So, it took the drive slowly, stopped when I needed to, and listened to lots of showtunes. Each time I stopped for gas it seemed to be at least 10 degrees colder, and I was like, "Why the heck am I still driving north???!?" *laughs softly*
The hardest part has been the welcoming well wishers who want to hear all about the experience as they smile at me expectantly.
It is uncomfortable.
What can I say?
Pretend it was the best thing that ever happened to me?
Cop out and joke that it was humid?
I've mostly given mixed responses like, "It was an incredible opportunity. It was extreme and difficult. I am so thankful I was able to be there. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But hopefully not anytime soon, because it is just so wonderful to be home."
So that's the truth of how I feel. And now you know something of the sad details that played out in the background.
Disney week 9: Revealed. The raw truth.
Written: Wed, Dec 5, 2012
So, we have made it to the end, and are coming to a close on this life altering journey. As I reviewed the weeks prior to this one, all of the signs were there. I started out strong and optimistic. Things began to get tough but I put a smile on my face and muscled through it. Calamity struck, but I tried to laugh it off and kept going.
Things were getting pretty tough and I found myself lonely and questioning what to do next. I had to re-evaluate why I was here and what I was going to do about it. The façade was gone; this job is hard and the experience isn’t much like I’d anticipated it would be. Then I dropped the “everything will work out for the best” act and talked about the screw ups I’d made, and how that was affecting my performance and ability to persevere.
Finally, the confessions of how my health had been playing a major role in preventing me from reaching the potential this opportunity had afforded me.
I didn’t make it all the way through this experience without a complete mental and physical breakdown.
I feel ashamed that I shared so much of the unhappiness of this experience. But I am also glad because there would be no way to capture the raw feelings and the truth behind them without doing so in the moment.
So what happened?
Well, my breakdown culminated in the medical result of a miscarriage. I am no longer or not pregnant.
*long pause*
Sorry to share something so personal with you. But it is the truth and is not of little consequence.
Everyone at work have been so kind, and more than fair in their treatment of me. Either out of mercy or punishment they cut the remaining hours for my final two weeks to a handful of working days. I have gratefully accepted this, and it is only because of the eased burden that I can even consider sticking it out one last week instead of packing it in now and running home with my tail between my legs.
The tragedy and perhaps irony (it’s so hard to determine irony sometimes) of the situation is that now that I’m about done with the program, and after all of the sadness, that I actually get to shine.
It is only now that the nausea and everything is gone. I no longer feel constantly ill. I have grown confident in certain recipes and tasks that I am more familiar with, so my proficiency and speed have increased.
This passed week, I finished the spot in record time and impressed even the fastest worker with my speed. I haven’t made any mistakes to note, and I haven’t been tardy. There was even a day when I arrived early and was told they’d changed my schedule, so I wasn’t even scheduled that day. So I finished my Christmas shopping and spent the rest of the day at The Magic Kingdom while I had the chance.
I am so very thankful for the courtesy afforded to me in what appears to be an opportunity to finish out my program.
Everyone one else here seems to be surprised that my allotted time out here was so short by comparison to the average term. But I have never been more thankful for this because I know I would not last a day longer, much less six more weeks.
As a coworker put it, “This experience has been different [for me] than most, and not for the best. But part of being a professional is to get back in there and follow through despite the consequences.”
Or something like that.
(...and yes. I drew that.)
Disney week 8: Revealed. The Nervous Breakdown.
Again, I wrote this several weeks ago. But I'm ready to open a dialogue to discuss it now.
Finally, I admit the personal, intimate, details to my nervous breakdown.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tues, Nov 27, 2012
While preparing our belated Thanksgiving feast over the weekend, one of my roommates put in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada” which talks a lot about career, drive, and the sacrifices you might and maybe shouldn’t make as you work your way to the top.
The main character confides to a coworker that her personal life is hanging by a thread.
His response is “That happens when you start to do well at your job.
Call me when your entire life goes up in smoke.
That’s when it’s time for a promotion.”
That pretty much sums up my feelings and experiences this passed week and especially today.
Another example from the movies (hey, it’s okay, I work at Hollywood Studios after all!):
In every thematic drama there is a point about 2/3 the way through the movie where the main character is at a major crossroads.
You know they are either going to make a life changing decision or move, or they’re going to mess it all up and leave you yelling at the screen about what they should have done instead.
Or both.
That is where I am right now.
Anyone that knows me knows that I run on Hawaiian Time. Anyone who has been to the islands knows that things are more laid back and anyone that arrives less than five minutes late is actually early. But then we stay as long as is needed to get the job done, we do a great job, everyone loves us.
But that doesn’t work in the business world here on the mainland. And Disney doesn’t care if you’re one minute late, an hour late, or didn’t go in at all; it is all bad, goes on your permanent record and you’re done for. And even though I plan to leave like an hour early for work, those little things pile up that cause delays and suddenly you’re racing through traffic and trying to politely dash through the parking lot to clock in on time.
Add morning sickness to this and there can be no more wiggle room to getting to work on time.
...
I’d been doing so well! *frustraited sigh*
I finished work on the Spot the other day in record time! I was working with the fastest worker in our group and I had to wait on him to get some things ready because I had already completed my tasks. Several days in a row I got compliments from my manager that I had done a really good job that day.
We overcame unimaginable odds in terms of the massive amounts of production we had to accomplish each day, and worked later and later to get everything done.
While I was at work of course I was AT WORK and working my tail off. I didn’t wander away from my station or start messing with my phone, or just disappearing for maybe ten minutes at a time as some of my coworkers are known to do. I wouldn’t even stop for a drink until I had all of my production done at that point. But I still clocked in a minute or two late and more than once. And that is all that matters.
As the week came to a close, I got sick during the middle of the shift and rushed out of the room. I took care of stuff, came right back, re-washed my hands and went back to working.
Before I even said anything, my supervisor came over and said she heard I was sick, but she couldn’t send me home because I already had a report against me and I’d be fired.
Really?
I didn’t even request to go home or anything, yet I felt like I'd been hung out to dry.
Through the preceding days I would be stumbling to work feeling like I couldn’t take another step, but knowing that we were so busy I just couldn’t call in and give up on them. I’m part of the team and they need all hands on deck to make it through.
But I comforted myself that if worst came to worst, at least they’d know I tried and I wouldn’t get in trouble if they sent me home early. But now I can’t leave? Wasn’t it better that I came in and did what I could? No. I guess that is not better than nothing.
The harsh reality: one minute or one day, you are still docked.
So, this morning I got to work. Started heading in to costuming, and got really sick. Someone told me to just call in and go home. By the time I pulled myself together I knew I would be late, since there is that long walk and hundreds of people between me and that time clock. So I gave in. I called in and I went home.
And the whole way home I was like, this is crazy! I should call them and tell them what happened and ask them if I could still come in. But they would have already gotten someone to cover my shift by then, and I didn’t want to trouble them further. And I was too scared to cause more of a scene by calling and bothering them. So I went home and stayed there.
...
*deep breath*
...
I had a nervous breakdown. I could already envision the introduction of my biography: “In the Fall of 2012, Dalyn had a mental break and was admitted into a suicide watch ward.” …
While I was bent over the sink of our apartment vomiting up my meal for the day which was now streaked with blood in it, I considered going to a hospital.
Surely that would be proof enough of something or other, right? ...Then I could go home and get some help, and not just be labled a failure or a quitter, right?
When someone starts considering ways to create their cry for help, that is when things get real. Fast.
...
And it scared me.
I can’t pretend that working here isn’t a big head game. I have spent most of the week coming to grips that I just don’t have “what it takes to hack it” in this industry.
This brings my education and my career choices into question.
Do I drop out of school?
Do I quit before they fire me or something?
It’s so hard to understand everything said to me at work sometimes because I wasn’t smart enough to learn Spanish before I came out here.
I feel like I have had this amazing opportunity down here and I just blew it.
I can’t blame my failing health for it completely. An unplanned pregnancy right now is just REALLY bad timing. I wish I could just reset to my last save point before all of this started and just do it all again.
...
When following a competition reality show, there always seems to be someone who has a crisis meltdown and like walks out of the competition. I understand it now.
The competition to get into this position was so fierce. I wanted to do it so badly. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave my children for so long. I was afraid I wouldn’t remember everything I learned in school and bring shame. I was afraid that I would mess it all up.
But I went for it and told myself that it was precisely BECAUSE I was so scared that this would be a good experience for me. I should learn a lot about myself and regardless of how long I am able to be here, I need to make the most of every moment of it.
Well, I’ve done all of that.
The fear?
Oh yes.
I deal with all of that not day to day but just moment to moment.
Was the experience good for me?
I knew that I would regret it forever if I gave up before I even started.
But my problem is that I just don’t feel adequate enough to be here anymore, and I just don’t want to waste their time or something.
And I don’t have any witty comments or scenarios to get me through this one.
So I’m at a quandary.
My personal life does indeed feel like it’s hanging by a thread tonight.
And it looks like my entire career is about to go up in smoke.
And there is nothing I can do about it either way tonight.
So I wrote this report. I’ll submit it and go to bed. I’ll get to work early tomorrow. They’ll either send me packing or send me to a station to work. At least then the worrying will all be over and my fate will be decided for me. What more can I do tonight?
In last minute news, we switched from these “Happy Chef” logo baseball caps to the new kufi style hats. Here’s what the old logo looked like. I’ve liked it all along.
Finally, I admit the personal, intimate, details to my nervous breakdown.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tues, Nov 27, 2012
While preparing our belated Thanksgiving feast over the weekend, one of my roommates put in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada” which talks a lot about career, drive, and the sacrifices you might and maybe shouldn’t make as you work your way to the top.
The main character confides to a coworker that her personal life is hanging by a thread.
His response is “That happens when you start to do well at your job.
Call me when your entire life goes up in smoke.
That’s when it’s time for a promotion.”
That pretty much sums up my feelings and experiences this passed week and especially today.
Another example from the movies (hey, it’s okay, I work at Hollywood Studios after all!):
In every thematic drama there is a point about 2/3 the way through the movie where the main character is at a major crossroads.
You know they are either going to make a life changing decision or move, or they’re going to mess it all up and leave you yelling at the screen about what they should have done instead.
Or both.
That is where I am right now.
Anyone that knows me knows that I run on Hawaiian Time. Anyone who has been to the islands knows that things are more laid back and anyone that arrives less than five minutes late is actually early. But then we stay as long as is needed to get the job done, we do a great job, everyone loves us.
But that doesn’t work in the business world here on the mainland. And Disney doesn’t care if you’re one minute late, an hour late, or didn’t go in at all; it is all bad, goes on your permanent record and you’re done for. And even though I plan to leave like an hour early for work, those little things pile up that cause delays and suddenly you’re racing through traffic and trying to politely dash through the parking lot to clock in on time.
Add morning sickness to this and there can be no more wiggle room to getting to work on time.
...
I’d been doing so well! *frustraited sigh*
I finished work on the Spot the other day in record time! I was working with the fastest worker in our group and I had to wait on him to get some things ready because I had already completed my tasks. Several days in a row I got compliments from my manager that I had done a really good job that day.
We overcame unimaginable odds in terms of the massive amounts of production we had to accomplish each day, and worked later and later to get everything done.
While I was at work of course I was AT WORK and working my tail off. I didn’t wander away from my station or start messing with my phone, or just disappearing for maybe ten minutes at a time as some of my coworkers are known to do. I wouldn’t even stop for a drink until I had all of my production done at that point. But I still clocked in a minute or two late and more than once. And that is all that matters.
As the week came to a close, I got sick during the middle of the shift and rushed out of the room. I took care of stuff, came right back, re-washed my hands and went back to working.
Before I even said anything, my supervisor came over and said she heard I was sick, but she couldn’t send me home because I already had a report against me and I’d be fired.
Really?
I didn’t even request to go home or anything, yet I felt like I'd been hung out to dry.
Through the preceding days I would be stumbling to work feeling like I couldn’t take another step, but knowing that we were so busy I just couldn’t call in and give up on them. I’m part of the team and they need all hands on deck to make it through.
But I comforted myself that if worst came to worst, at least they’d know I tried and I wouldn’t get in trouble if they sent me home early. But now I can’t leave? Wasn’t it better that I came in and did what I could? No. I guess that is not better than nothing.
The harsh reality: one minute or one day, you are still docked.
So, this morning I got to work. Started heading in to costuming, and got really sick. Someone told me to just call in and go home. By the time I pulled myself together I knew I would be late, since there is that long walk and hundreds of people between me and that time clock. So I gave in. I called in and I went home.
And the whole way home I was like, this is crazy! I should call them and tell them what happened and ask them if I could still come in. But they would have already gotten someone to cover my shift by then, and I didn’t want to trouble them further. And I was too scared to cause more of a scene by calling and bothering them. So I went home and stayed there.
...
*deep breath*
...
I had a nervous breakdown. I could already envision the introduction of my biography: “In the Fall of 2012, Dalyn had a mental break and was admitted into a suicide watch ward.” …
While I was bent over the sink of our apartment vomiting up my meal for the day which was now streaked with blood in it, I considered going to a hospital.
Surely that would be proof enough of something or other, right? ...Then I could go home and get some help, and not just be labled a failure or a quitter, right?
When someone starts considering ways to create their cry for help, that is when things get real. Fast.
...
And it scared me.
I can’t pretend that working here isn’t a big head game. I have spent most of the week coming to grips that I just don’t have “what it takes to hack it” in this industry.
This brings my education and my career choices into question.
Do I drop out of school?
Do I quit before they fire me or something?
It’s so hard to understand everything said to me at work sometimes because I wasn’t smart enough to learn Spanish before I came out here.
I feel like I have had this amazing opportunity down here and I just blew it.
I can’t blame my failing health for it completely. An unplanned pregnancy right now is just REALLY bad timing. I wish I could just reset to my last save point before all of this started and just do it all again.
...
When following a competition reality show, there always seems to be someone who has a crisis meltdown and like walks out of the competition. I understand it now.
The competition to get into this position was so fierce. I wanted to do it so badly. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave my children for so long. I was afraid I wouldn’t remember everything I learned in school and bring shame. I was afraid that I would mess it all up.
But I went for it and told myself that it was precisely BECAUSE I was so scared that this would be a good experience for me. I should learn a lot about myself and regardless of how long I am able to be here, I need to make the most of every moment of it.
Well, I’ve done all of that.
The fear?
Oh yes.
I deal with all of that not day to day but just moment to moment.
Was the experience good for me?
I knew that I would regret it forever if I gave up before I even started.
But my problem is that I just don’t feel adequate enough to be here anymore, and I just don’t want to waste their time or something.
And I don’t have any witty comments or scenarios to get me through this one.
So I’m at a quandary.
My personal life does indeed feel like it’s hanging by a thread tonight.
And it looks like my entire career is about to go up in smoke.
And there is nothing I can do about it either way tonight.
So I wrote this report. I’ll submit it and go to bed. I’ll get to work early tomorrow. They’ll either send me packing or send me to a station to work. At least then the worrying will all be over and my fate will be decided for me. What more can I do tonight?
In last minute news, we switched from these “Happy Chef” logo baseball caps to the new kufi style hats. Here’s what the old logo looked like. I’ve liked it all along.
Disney week 7: Revealed. Surrendering.
This is the week that I finally admit what had been going wrong during my externship. And you may begin to understand why I was reluctant to start talking about it publicly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Nov 28, 2012
I think I have finally run out of things to ramble about with this experience. I continue to help wherever I am assigned to do so. If I work the spot then I portion out hundreds of cupcakes (mostly pumpkin or chocolate these days), cheesecakes, mousses, carrot cakes, chocolate cake, ganache, parfaits, and so forth. The never ending stream of pumpkin cupcakes seems unimaginable.
If I work the back end of the bakery then I make the 7 layer cookies, yellow, chocolate, or red cakes in layers or rounds. I actually got to do some marble sheet cakes the other day, which was fun. I also bake brownies, cupcakes, help divide the forcaccia dough, and I am pretty sure I have mastered the rice krispies treats. . . Do I get a merit badge for this? Because it seems like I did get one for that when I was six. :/
Regardless, I am getting better and faster at working around this high volume production bakery, and I did MUCH better dividing the cake layers into even quarters for the grapefruit cake. Of which, I finally tracked down a picture of the plated dessert itself:
[Both of these desserts were plated and photographed by a co-worker.]
And here’s one of our plated “Celebration” mousses that are given out for birthdays and such:
I have been able to work fast enough to catch a few moments at times to observe the cake decorating and cocoa butter painting of molded chocolate characters. I have decided to focus on observing what I can of their work in the last few weeks of my externship.
*long pause*
I have finally concluded that I cannot, at this time, extend my externship.
With a possible pregnancy causing me to be sick all the time, and young children who miss their mother; on top of the confirmation that I am a lousy student when it comes to on-line classes… it can only be concluded that I must return to my little growing family in Indiana for the moment.
I have resisted this at every turn because I fear that I will never have another opportunity to do this.
And it feels like I am trading in my dream as I look at my final weeks here.
*deep sigh* But that’s part of being a mother, isn’t it?
And children are worth every sacrifice.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Nov 28, 2012
I think I have finally run out of things to ramble about with this experience. I continue to help wherever I am assigned to do so. If I work the spot then I portion out hundreds of cupcakes (mostly pumpkin or chocolate these days), cheesecakes, mousses, carrot cakes, chocolate cake, ganache, parfaits, and so forth. The never ending stream of pumpkin cupcakes seems unimaginable.
If I work the back end of the bakery then I make the 7 layer cookies, yellow, chocolate, or red cakes in layers or rounds. I actually got to do some marble sheet cakes the other day, which was fun. I also bake brownies, cupcakes, help divide the forcaccia dough, and I am pretty sure I have mastered the rice krispies treats. . . Do I get a merit badge for this? Because it seems like I did get one for that when I was six. :/
Regardless, I am getting better and faster at working around this high volume production bakery, and I did MUCH better dividing the cake layers into even quarters for the grapefruit cake. Of which, I finally tracked down a picture of the plated dessert itself:
[Both of these desserts were plated and photographed by a co-worker.]
And here’s one of our plated “Celebration” mousses that are given out for birthdays and such:
I have been able to work fast enough to catch a few moments at times to observe the cake decorating and cocoa butter painting of molded chocolate characters. I have decided to focus on observing what I can of their work in the last few weeks of my externship.
*long pause*
I have finally concluded that I cannot, at this time, extend my externship.
With a possible pregnancy causing me to be sick all the time, and young children who miss their mother; on top of the confirmation that I am a lousy student when it comes to on-line classes… it can only be concluded that I must return to my little growing family in Indiana for the moment.
I have resisted this at every turn because I fear that I will never have another opportunity to do this.
And it feels like I am trading in my dream as I look at my final weeks here.
*deep sigh* But that’s part of being a mother, isn’t it?
And children are worth every sacrifice.
Disney week 6: Revealed. Changing the subject.
As was previously stated, this was written several weeks ago, and I'm just about ready to talk about everything that happened. Here is what I was thinking and feeling at the time.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Nov 14, 2012
Let’s talk about something more fun this week. Let’s talk about the one product we make that has anything to do with what I want to specialize in: The Grapefruit Cake. We make some portion of this dessert every day. We make about two dozen of the cakes every other day, which get portioned out into 8-12 slices. That’s a rather successful turnover with a $8 price point per slice.
I absolutely love working with the grapefruit because it is such a light fresh scent when I am constantly surrounded by all of these heavy sweet smells. The little notes of citrus flung wild in the bakery come to me at unexpected moments and I almost swoon every time.
I feel that my training has given me all of the skills necessary to prepare these layered cakes, and I have done well with them. Like many of the cakes featured in my Euro Cakes and Tortes class, this dessert is made as follows:
Prepare, bake, cool, wrap 10” rounds of yellow cake. Label, date, and freeze.
The cakes are leveled, sides and bottom trimmed, and split into four layers. I love filleting off the delicate layer of brown from the bottom.
Ring molds are lined with strips of acetate and placed on cake rounds. The cake rings are lined with jacond to hold the whole product together.
The cake layers are soaked with a grapefruit maceration, and slathered with layers of grapefruit jam and a cream cheese based grapefruit puree filling. The process is repeated until all layers are used, ending with a leveled layer of filling. The cakes are chilled and later finished with a thin grapefruit glaze, sliced and plated, and topped with a dried slice of candied grapefruit. It is glorious.
Here are the tips I have picked up that were not learned in school:
Instead of preparing the jacond in the traditional method with a contrasting batter that creates a unique design, they carefully thinly spread the jacond onto transfer sheets and baked, which guarantees a consistent product. They have a dedicated rotary blade device which cuts the jacond sheets into the correct sizes for lining the rings. When the jacond is trimmed to make a perfect seal around the ring, it is cut slight longer than needed, overlapping by about half - one centimeter, and then pushed into position which creates a tight lining.
The layers of fillings are spread out with a standard plastic icing smoother which has been cut in half to facilitate getting into those small spaces without giving up the benefit of having a wide blade to work with.
Like most everything else, the fillings are portioned out with specific sizes of ice-cream scoopers to get a quick consistent distribution of product.
Finally, the candied citrus slices are made by slicing the grapefruit while frozen, laying out the slices on halved silpats on small racks, dusted with powdered sugar,
and left in a dehydrator overnight instead of cooking and soaking in increasingly dense syrups.
The whole process and experience is what has made this internship useful to me and my future in this industry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Nov 14, 2012
Let’s talk about something more fun this week. Let’s talk about the one product we make that has anything to do with what I want to specialize in: The Grapefruit Cake. We make some portion of this dessert every day. We make about two dozen of the cakes every other day, which get portioned out into 8-12 slices. That’s a rather successful turnover with a $8 price point per slice.
I absolutely love working with the grapefruit because it is such a light fresh scent when I am constantly surrounded by all of these heavy sweet smells. The little notes of citrus flung wild in the bakery come to me at unexpected moments and I almost swoon every time.
I feel that my training has given me all of the skills necessary to prepare these layered cakes, and I have done well with them. Like many of the cakes featured in my Euro Cakes and Tortes class, this dessert is made as follows:
Prepare, bake, cool, wrap 10” rounds of yellow cake. Label, date, and freeze.
The cakes are leveled, sides and bottom trimmed, and split into four layers. I love filleting off the delicate layer of brown from the bottom.
Ring molds are lined with strips of acetate and placed on cake rounds. The cake rings are lined with jacond to hold the whole product together.
The cake layers are soaked with a grapefruit maceration, and slathered with layers of grapefruit jam and a cream cheese based grapefruit puree filling. The process is repeated until all layers are used, ending with a leveled layer of filling. The cakes are chilled and later finished with a thin grapefruit glaze, sliced and plated, and topped with a dried slice of candied grapefruit. It is glorious.
Here are the tips I have picked up that were not learned in school:
Instead of preparing the jacond in the traditional method with a contrasting batter that creates a unique design, they carefully thinly spread the jacond onto transfer sheets and baked, which guarantees a consistent product. They have a dedicated rotary blade device which cuts the jacond sheets into the correct sizes for lining the rings. When the jacond is trimmed to make a perfect seal around the ring, it is cut slight longer than needed, overlapping by about half - one centimeter, and then pushed into position which creates a tight lining.
The layers of fillings are spread out with a standard plastic icing smoother which has been cut in half to facilitate getting into those small spaces without giving up the benefit of having a wide blade to work with.
Like most everything else, the fillings are portioned out with specific sizes of ice-cream scoopers to get a quick consistent distribution of product.
Finally, the candied citrus slices are made by slicing the grapefruit while frozen, laying out the slices on halved silpats on small racks, dusted with powdered sugar,
and left in a dehydrator overnight instead of cooking and soaking in increasingly dense syrups.
The whole process and experience is what has made this internship useful to me and my future in this industry.
Disney week 5: Revealed. The FNG.
The following posts were written at the time, but not posted because it was all very complicated, and I wasn't ready to share with the world everything that was going on.
This was the week that I could no longer pretend that everything was going well or even mostly well.
If you go back and look at all of these posts about my Disney Externship, you will see a pattern:
Week 1, everything is wonderful and I am so excited and blessed.
Week 2, I have never been so happy to be anywhere in my life, and I never want to leave.
Week 3, okay so things have been rough, but I am thankful to be here. Maybe now that I've worked passed the blahs then things will work themselves out.
Week 4, okay, so some rotten stuff has happened to me, and it was embarassing, but I am determined to look on the bright side of things, put on a brave face, and keep going.
.... When Week 5 came along, I felt like I had failed everyone who had supported me and encouraged me, everyone who has instructed and inspired me. I felt like a let down, and I was ashamed to come clean that the can-do-push-on-through attitude was worn off and I was... well... misserable.
So, I hear you asking:
"Why talk about this now? It was months ago. No one cares anymore."
*pause*
Yeah, well be that as it may, I'm ready to work through what happened to me out there and try to find that silver lining at the end. And the best way to do that is to look back with those supposedly 20/20 hindsight goggles on. And away we go. *deep breath*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Nov 7, 2012
This was a bad week. I have never felt more like an FNG than I have now. If you don’t know what an FNG is, I’ll just tell you that the NG stands for New Girl… It’s a term I learned from a Chef I worked with years ago.
Anyway, it seemed like all of the hard work I’ve been doing to measure everything correctly, double check stuff, and do things right, have all been replaced by getting everything wrong. Not on purpose of course, but it’s just one of those times when everything seems to go wrong.
So, what have I learned? Well, let’s talk about what happened. First of all, Florida is hot and humid. Just because we’re into late October and November doesn’t mean that things have cooled down enough that the daily mad dash I make from the back end of cast member parking, through costuming, down the back-lot, and across the park to the production bakery without arriving in a sweat. Also, there is no time to catch my breath because I am working from the moment I enter the bakery. I try to move swift and there is a great deal of bending, lifting, carrying, and basic non-stop cardio from the get go until almost the end of the shift.
In addition to sweat streaming down my face and into my eyes, my glasses steam up as I’m running around and moving in and out of freezers. So, I have taken to removing my glasses when I first get to work and not bother with them until things cool down after the lunch break. I am nearsighted, but can basically see what’s going on around me and work without incident. I just can’t read a sign on the other side of the room for example.
Besides all of that, things have progressed from me assisting someone else, to me working with someone else, to someone working with me, to me working alone with supervision, and now me just working alone. So the stage is set: I’m left unsupervised and I can’t always see clearly. I guess when you put it that way, it’s no wonder things began going wrong all the time. Okay, no more disclaimers. What happened??
Well, I was mise-ing out ingredients for both batches of the Sugar Cookie Dough and the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough while waiting for the largest mixer and its bowl to be available for use. These are huge recipes which result in one to two hundred pounds of product at a time. I was just finishing mixing together the sugar cookie dough when a coworker walked by and noticed that one of the ingredients I had measured out was incorrect. Here’s what it was:
Hmm. What is that, I hear you asking yourself. It looks like sugar maybe? But something seems a bit off. I did have that vague unease about it. But it was in the bin for the sugar and what else would it be? Well, I was supposed to measure out sugar. This is not it. Here’s a picture of granulated sugar for comparison:
Ahh, that looks more like it. Or is it salt? Hmm. These things are all starting to look alike. Let’s try a side-by-side view:
Well, as you’re probably guessing, it was discovered that I had the wrong 10lbs of stuff measured out when it was supposed to be 10lbs of sugar. The correction was not made before the first 10lbs went into the sugar cookie dough, however. Did I mention that neither Chefs nor the bakery manager were there that day? No? Well, now they both know since a call had to be made that the FNG put the wrong thing in the dough, is there a way to save it? No? Okay, throw it out and start over.
Now my shame gets to be shared not only with the whole bakery and the people that weren’t even there, but now with the Brown Derby staff and the dish tank workers since I have to wheel the entire thing over there and scoop all of the dough out of this waist high bowl into the trash can. Then, of course, I need to re-measure and mix everything for the sugar dough, and then get to portion the dough out into 8lb logs for fabrication by the morning shift. Then finally get to do it all for that chocolate chip cookie dough, and get that portioned out. Then clean up before I can go to lunch. Obviously it was all a waste of money, a waste of product, and a waste of time. I felt so ashamed.
Oh, wait. You want to know what the mistaken ingredient turned out to be, don’t you? It was granulated Fructose. . . I didn’t even know such a thing existed. I still don’t know what they use it for.
Upon closer inspection, the fructose bin isn’t even labeled. When I asked if we could label it they said no, it’s just the bin with no label. All of the other bins have large red plaques on them with clearly readable lettering. Except the sugar bin which has a tiny black label just under the lip of the bin. And apparently, the bins frequently move around so you can’t just grab the ingredients from the normal spot. Well, one thing is for sure. I haven’t made that mistake again.
And? I don’t think I can talk about the Brownie incident. Suffice it to say, I added too much water. So I had to increase the recipe to make up for it. And it resulted in 250lbs of brownie batter. That then had to be portioned out and baked and set everything back yet again. *sigh*
This was the week that I could no longer pretend that everything was going well or even mostly well.
If you go back and look at all of these posts about my Disney Externship, you will see a pattern:
Week 1, everything is wonderful and I am so excited and blessed.
Week 2, I have never been so happy to be anywhere in my life, and I never want to leave.
Week 3, okay so things have been rough, but I am thankful to be here. Maybe now that I've worked passed the blahs then things will work themselves out.
Week 4, okay, so some rotten stuff has happened to me, and it was embarassing, but I am determined to look on the bright side of things, put on a brave face, and keep going.
.... When Week 5 came along, I felt like I had failed everyone who had supported me and encouraged me, everyone who has instructed and inspired me. I felt like a let down, and I was ashamed to come clean that the can-do-push-on-through attitude was worn off and I was... well... misserable.
So, I hear you asking:
"Why talk about this now? It was months ago. No one cares anymore."
*pause*
Yeah, well be that as it may, I'm ready to work through what happened to me out there and try to find that silver lining at the end. And the best way to do that is to look back with those supposedly 20/20 hindsight goggles on. And away we go. *deep breath*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wed, Nov 7, 2012
This was a bad week. I have never felt more like an FNG than I have now. If you don’t know what an FNG is, I’ll just tell you that the NG stands for New Girl… It’s a term I learned from a Chef I worked with years ago.
Anyway, it seemed like all of the hard work I’ve been doing to measure everything correctly, double check stuff, and do things right, have all been replaced by getting everything wrong. Not on purpose of course, but it’s just one of those times when everything seems to go wrong.
So, what have I learned? Well, let’s talk about what happened. First of all, Florida is hot and humid. Just because we’re into late October and November doesn’t mean that things have cooled down enough that the daily mad dash I make from the back end of cast member parking, through costuming, down the back-lot, and across the park to the production bakery without arriving in a sweat. Also, there is no time to catch my breath because I am working from the moment I enter the bakery. I try to move swift and there is a great deal of bending, lifting, carrying, and basic non-stop cardio from the get go until almost the end of the shift.
In addition to sweat streaming down my face and into my eyes, my glasses steam up as I’m running around and moving in and out of freezers. So, I have taken to removing my glasses when I first get to work and not bother with them until things cool down after the lunch break. I am nearsighted, but can basically see what’s going on around me and work without incident. I just can’t read a sign on the other side of the room for example.
Besides all of that, things have progressed from me assisting someone else, to me working with someone else, to someone working with me, to me working alone with supervision, and now me just working alone. So the stage is set: I’m left unsupervised and I can’t always see clearly. I guess when you put it that way, it’s no wonder things began going wrong all the time. Okay, no more disclaimers. What happened??
Well, I was mise-ing out ingredients for both batches of the Sugar Cookie Dough and the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough while waiting for the largest mixer and its bowl to be available for use. These are huge recipes which result in one to two hundred pounds of product at a time. I was just finishing mixing together the sugar cookie dough when a coworker walked by and noticed that one of the ingredients I had measured out was incorrect. Here’s what it was:
Hmm. What is that, I hear you asking yourself. It looks like sugar maybe? But something seems a bit off. I did have that vague unease about it. But it was in the bin for the sugar and what else would it be? Well, I was supposed to measure out sugar. This is not it. Here’s a picture of granulated sugar for comparison:
Ahh, that looks more like it. Or is it salt? Hmm. These things are all starting to look alike. Let’s try a side-by-side view:
Well, as you’re probably guessing, it was discovered that I had the wrong 10lbs of stuff measured out when it was supposed to be 10lbs of sugar. The correction was not made before the first 10lbs went into the sugar cookie dough, however. Did I mention that neither Chefs nor the bakery manager were there that day? No? Well, now they both know since a call had to be made that the FNG put the wrong thing in the dough, is there a way to save it? No? Okay, throw it out and start over.
Now my shame gets to be shared not only with the whole bakery and the people that weren’t even there, but now with the Brown Derby staff and the dish tank workers since I have to wheel the entire thing over there and scoop all of the dough out of this waist high bowl into the trash can. Then, of course, I need to re-measure and mix everything for the sugar dough, and then get to portion the dough out into 8lb logs for fabrication by the morning shift. Then finally get to do it all for that chocolate chip cookie dough, and get that portioned out. Then clean up before I can go to lunch. Obviously it was all a waste of money, a waste of product, and a waste of time. I felt so ashamed.
Oh, wait. You want to know what the mistaken ingredient turned out to be, don’t you? It was granulated Fructose. . . I didn’t even know such a thing existed. I still don’t know what they use it for.
Upon closer inspection, the fructose bin isn’t even labeled. When I asked if we could label it they said no, it’s just the bin with no label. All of the other bins have large red plaques on them with clearly readable lettering. Except the sugar bin which has a tiny black label just under the lip of the bin. And apparently, the bins frequently move around so you can’t just grab the ingredients from the normal spot. Well, one thing is for sure. I haven’t made that mistake again.
And? I don’t think I can talk about the Brownie incident. Suffice it to say, I added too much water. So I had to increase the recipe to make up for it. And it resulted in 250lbs of brownie batter. That then had to be portioned out and baked and set everything back yet again. *sigh*
Friday, November 2, 2012
Disney week 4: Take courage.
This week was a hard one because I got sick while at work and was sent home. I also missed two days. So that not only messed me up physically, but it took me a while to get my head back in the game.
Missing so much work, I had guilt for the extra work that would be placed on the others. Additional hands may have been called in to help, but that still did not ease the guilt of not completing my responsibilities.
Also, all of that meant missed opportunities to be there and learning things! Sure, it’s been a month now, and even working for Disney is not immune to the work day blahs that seem to creep up no matter what you do. But I kept reminding myself, I’m working in Disney World!!?! How can I let something like a stomach bug keep me down like this?? But, at the end of the day, Sanitation and Safety comes first, and I decided to focus on getting better so I could get back there right away.
But I still had to overcome the irrational fear of returning to work after an absence. Would they be mad at me? Will I face disciplinary action? Is my program in jeopardy here?
Being a CP (Collage Program Participant) here means that I don’t have the same lee-way as a regular part or full-time employee, and I’m supposed to be available 24/7 to fill in the gaps as needed… But part of being a professional is learning to get there and do your best regardless of how intimidating the situation may be. And isn’t the whole point of higher education and internships about learning to become a professional and work to excel in your field? So, there was some growth there, and it was not insignificant.
While I was out sick, I watched a video about behind the scenes Disney World Food which was produced by Unrapped with Marc Summers for Food Network an unknown number of years ago. While I was preparing for my job interview with Disney, I watched this and many other videos to get an idea of what I was getting myself into. Here is the video if you’re interested:
Anyway, I haven’t seen this video since April when I found out that I got the job. But I thought it would be fun to watch it again now that I’ve been here, and maybe it would all make more sense. I recognized some of the food items and locations now, and many of my roommates worked those locations as well.
When I watched this video for the first time, the only bakery mentioned was The Boardwalk Bakery here at Disney World. Since I am a Baking & Pastry student, I hoped that I would be working there. I remembered the Chef they had interviewed on location, and wanting to work with him on learning more about plated desserts.
So imagine my shock when I realized the same inspiring Chef featured in that film which made me REALLY want to have this foodservice opportunity was the same Chef working in The Production Bakery at Hollywood Studios! I have spoken with him only a few times, as the Executive Chefs are rarely around in the afternoons.
Of course I had been polite and professional and tried to show respect and a friendly disposition during our brief conversations, as I do with everyone. But now I was kind of star struck! I can’t track him down and say, “Hey, Chef! Saw you on Unwrapped last night. Big fan. I couldn’t believe that was you! Can I watch you work some time??” … Yeah, that’s not quite the best approach.
But I was encouraged to go ahead and ask about shadowing him at some point. So, after a few days of work and showing that I am a dedicated hard worker who wants to be there and is grateful for the opportunity, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to him. I said something like, “Chef, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to Shadow you sometime? I could come in on my day off and you wouldn’t even have to pay me. But I would really love to observe your technique and learn more about what you do, please.” He seemed surprised and said that I was the first person to ever ask him that. He said we could maybe work something out some time, but didn’t make any plans, so I said thank you and got back to work. So…. That’s where that is for now. I don’t know what, if anything, will come of it, but I am proud of myself for working up the nerve to talk to him.
This week has been all about overcoming fears and intimidation, being a professional, and just getting back to work. I try to show up on time, do whatever is needed, work clean, work hard, be precise but also try to move quickly, and just observe and learn whatever I can.
Sounds like good advice for any part of life, actually.
Friday, October 26, 2012
What my Disney College Program Externship is like (in detail)
I am honored to be working at Disney’s Hollywood Studios Production Bakery in Walt Disney World for my Externship. The production bakery is inside The Brown Derby, centered in the Hollywood Studios theme park, and provides baked goods and desserts for The Brown Derby, Mamma Melrose, Hollywood & Vine, and various quick serve foodservice locations.
My responsibilities include high volume production from mixes and recipes of ingredients scaled out and produced by the baker. None of our products are made using IQF (Individually Quick Frozen) items that are baked off and packaged like my first bakery job experience, or shipped in prebaked and just decorated like my recent bakery job before I pursued this internship with Disney. Being that it is a high volume facility, everything is on a bigger scale than anything I have ever done in the foodservice industry before.
I am on the afternoon shift, so after I clock in, get hat and apron on, and wash my hands, I clean up anything that was left by the morning shift and report to those higher-up than me and find out which of the two stations I will be working that day. The production list for that day’s work is divided into those two stations, either working on The Spot or baking in The Back.
The Spot is a machine with a pump and a hand-held wand designed to deposit an adjustable pre-measured amount of batter at adjusted speeds into various containers. For example, an entire batch of chocolate mousse can be made and the whole large mixer work bowl is wheeled over to The Spot. The intake is lowered into the bowl, the pump is run a few times into a waste bin to make sure everything is running properly, and then tray after tray of pre-set plastic cups can be filled with precisely 90ml of chocolate mousse at whatever speed the operator is comfortable with, to ensure an accurate, speedy, and precision distribution of batters and so forth. The Spot can portion out up to 100ml of product and speeds ranging from about once at a fraction of a second to once every 3-5seconds.
When we are done with one product, we run large amounts of super hot water through the system until it runs clear, and rinse the outside. Then start the next product with several pumps into a waste bin until the product forces any residual water out and is now consistent, and then proceed with portioning out the next item. At the end of the day, the operator takes apart the machine, thouroughly cleans all pieces with hot soapy water, lubricates key areas of the mechanisms with food-grade foodservice approved lubricant, reassembles the machine, and stores it for the following work day.
Products I have portioned out with The Spot include: red velvet cupcakes, individual carrot cakes, individual chocolate cakes, chocolate cupcakes, yellow cake for shortcakes, chocolate, pumpkin, and amoretto mousses into serving bowls for buffets and individual serving cups for quick-service, ganache on top of the individual chocolate cakes, plain and chocolate cheesecakes to make little marbled cheesecakes, mousses into silpat molds for celebration desserts decorated later, and so on. Once you get going on the spot, you keep working until everything is portioned out. This will usually take the first 5-6 hours of the shift.
During that same time frame, those working the back are focused on the bottom half of the to-do list. This involves scaling out ingredients, mixing the doughs and batters, portioning out product by smoothing onto sheet trays for sheet cake, scooping into hundreds of little cups or cupcake liners, mixing up gigantic matches of cookie dough and weighing it out into 8lb balls to be fabricated into cookies later, building trays if cereal treats or 7-layer desserts, large quantities of foccasia dough, sorbets, assembling the grapefruit cake entremets, and on and on and so forth.
All of the product to be baked gets done, and everything on the spot is finished before anyone takes our one break, which is also lunch. So, when we arrive at 11:30 we all work to get stuff done and take our break together for 30 minutes to one hour, depending on how busy we are. After lunch, our cooled items are un-molded, wrapped, tagged, and taken out to the freezers. Or the hundreds and hundreds of little black 6oz bowls of cakes are given their lids, placed onto a clean tray, and sent to the freezers.
Then we set bowls or cups on trays on speed-racks so everything in set for the next day. Finally, everyone helps scrub all work tables, carts, and the insides of our refrigerators, clean and dry everything off, put everything away, and clock-out as a group.
I am still progressing as I continue to learn the different recipes and techniques used in this bakery to accomplish such a high volume of product. I observe what others are doing around me to pick up tips and techniques from them as well. All so that I can work clean, quick, efficiently, and make consistently presentable and enticing products for our clients. As I have proceeded through this process, I have found better ways to do the different tasks that work well for me, and I will pass them on to the next intern as the previous intern has done for me. Every day we are all improving our quality, quantity, and speed of production.
This internship with Walt Disney World has an incalculable and invaluable direct impact on my work ethic in general, my skills as a budding pastry chef, my marketable skills for future employment, experience to see how a wildly successful foodservice operation works and how I would take some of those practices or improve or adapt them for my own foodservice establishment down the road. My goal is to use this externship resume and experience boost to continue to circuit all kinds of foodservice establishments to hone all of my skills and interests while I finish up school and work to a point in my career and development that my foodservice foundation will be strong enough for investors to launch me on to fulfill my dream to bring edible art to all corners of the world.
My specialty is chocolate and sugar work, with a high interest in plated deserts and edible sculptures and arrangements. I also want to learn fruit and vegetable garnishing and ice carving to supplement show pieces and such for resorts, conventions, country clubs, receptions, special occasions, and destination travel spots.
The Disney Brand includes all of these fields and more, and I hope to use this College Program internship to secure a professional internship when I graduate from Aii with Disney, which will lead to a full-time position with the company. This corporation is THE Benchmark by which all other brands and experiences are compared. I would not find a better company to grow in. And the clients who frequent these resorts and parks are the exact cliental that my passion for edible art is tailored to.
The best way to accomplish several lifetimes' worth of aspirations and accomplishments?
Those who study how to achieve these things say to surround yourself with like-minded successful people. Gain every work-set skill or experience possible; even if it means working for free. Market yourself as an adaptable, dependable, hard worker who is eager to learn and produce superior work. Network with everyone you meet and make not only a good first impression, but a positive lasting impression as well, so you can network with these people in the future and they will not only remember you, but help you.
All of these things are pre-built into the College Program internship with Disney. There is no better place where I could be pursuing my dream. After all, Walt Disney World is Where Dreams Come True.
Disney week 3: The Cheesecake Incident.
That moment when you screw up spectacularly but have to keep going like nothing happened b/c you're a pro. I had one today at the bakery. :/ A tray of 28 unbaked 6oz cheesecakes tipped all over me today. It was up high, heavy, and tipped in my haste. Never again. *humiliated* Now I have the honor of being that girl who dropped the cheesecakes... :p I am cheesecake girl. And this will forever be referred to as "The Cheesecake Incident".
As the shock wore off, I set the tray down while staring heavenward with cheesecake soaking into my clothes. A cook I'd never seen before slowly moved to my left and deposited a stack of disposable towels next to me on the table, then faded away out of sight. It was perfect comedic timing. One of the dishwashers appeared and started cleaning the cheesecake off the floor, and wiping it off my leg. That's when I got myself cleaned up found my composure.
When told I now have my first Disney badge of honor, I said ‘Oh no, that would be a burn scar. I think I'll try to avoid that for now!’ Lol Well, I can’t say that anymore either since I burnt my arm yesterday, but that goes in the journal for next week.
By the way, here are some baked cheesecakes:
This week changed dramatically from last week. Before, I was assisting other people while they did things and just jumped in with part of the task under their supervision. But now I was doing it by myself. Someone would point to something on the list, briefly explain an aspect of the task perhaps, then leave me to it. It was nerve wracking.
But I have done a couple of the recipes two or three times now, so I’m beginning to get the hang of it. I’ve also found my own way rhythm for how to get things done, which is good. They would say, ‘This is how I do it. But if you find another way that is easy for you and it helps you go fast then do it,’. And everyone is very kind about answering my questions and checking on me to keep things going well.
And now, a very important question:
Do these carrots look like they're wearing little green berrets to you?
Do they??!!
Stop laughing and look again.
yeah, I know, right?
But, in all seriousnes. I may have had a spill, I cleaned up, pulled myself together, and kept going. And, it has opened some conversations with others about their first spill or whatever. Fortunately, I have continued to follow all recipes very closely, and everything has turned out well.
One of the guys looked in on some cake batter I was making and said it was beautiful, just beautiful. He turned to another coworker and said, ‘You know why it turned out beautiful? Because I trained her! See, if you just follow me, it will always turn out perfect!’ Well, I’ll just keep trying to do that, and with a smile, and hopefully I’ll get some of that Disney Magic.
As the shock wore off, I set the tray down while staring heavenward with cheesecake soaking into my clothes. A cook I'd never seen before slowly moved to my left and deposited a stack of disposable towels next to me on the table, then faded away out of sight. It was perfect comedic timing. One of the dishwashers appeared and started cleaning the cheesecake off the floor, and wiping it off my leg. That's when I got myself cleaned up found my composure.
When told I now have my first Disney badge of honor, I said ‘Oh no, that would be a burn scar. I think I'll try to avoid that for now!’ Lol Well, I can’t say that anymore either since I burnt my arm yesterday, but that goes in the journal for next week.
By the way, here are some baked cheesecakes:
But I have done a couple of the recipes two or three times now, so I’m beginning to get the hang of it. I’ve also found my own way rhythm for how to get things done, which is good. They would say, ‘This is how I do it. But if you find another way that is easy for you and it helps you go fast then do it,’. And everyone is very kind about answering my questions and checking on me to keep things going well.
And now, a very important question:
Do they??!!
Stop laughing and look again.
yeah, I know, right?
But, in all seriousnes. I may have had a spill, I cleaned up, pulled myself together, and kept going. And, it has opened some conversations with others about their first spill or whatever. Fortunately, I have continued to follow all recipes very closely, and everything has turned out well.
One of the guys looked in on some cake batter I was making and said it was beautiful, just beautiful. He turned to another coworker and said, ‘You know why it turned out beautiful? Because I trained her! See, if you just follow me, it will always turn out perfect!’ Well, I’ll just keep trying to do that, and with a smile, and hopefully I’ll get some of that Disney Magic.
Disney week 2: On to the Good Stuff.
Well, I am all moved in and unpacked into my new four bedroom apartment, which I share with six other roommates assigned by the Disney Housing team. I know you're just dying to know what it all looks like. Well, you're in luck because I took a video. Here's a picture while I figure out how to upload it. LOL
And now, on to the good stuff: Working at Walt Disney World! *squee*
The first half of the week was finishing up my training before I could actually get into the kitchen. I did get to spend one of my off days visiting the Food & Wine Festival at Epcot, which was interesting. But I didn’t get as much out of it as my roommates did since I don’t drink. I did try the cheese trio plate which was delicious. But I did not understand why the cheddar was drowning in a puddle of honey for example.
I've been working hard at the Production Bakery inside The Brown Derby at Disney Hollywood Studios here in Orlando, FL. Today marks the last day of my first week of On the Job Training, so I then get to remove my "Earning My Ears" ribbon from my name badge. That also means I can't point at it and say "Sorry, I'm new here!"
I've been so very very lonely down here. I hardly ever see my roommates, and I'm the only one at work who doesn't speak Spanish, so they're always talking to each other in Spanish and even blast Latin music so I'm constantly out of my depth on what is going on. On the other hand, when they do switch to English I can be pretty sure to look up since they're probably talking to me.
Everyone is so very nice. We work well together, and I try to just do whatever I'm asked to do with a smile, learn their procedures, try to do it well, do it right, get done quickly, and work to get faster, and just watch everything around me and learn everything I can. I've already learned so many little tips and tricks for better ways to do things just from watching how the others prep their trays or whatever it is. Since this is the first time I've had dozens of trays at a time of product to do, there are ways to do high volume stuff that I'd never had to come up with before at either of the bakeries I’ve worked in.
I haven’t made any major mistakes and I work hard. I try to at least be working as fast as the seasoned person working next to me, and if I can keep up with them I figure I'm on the right track.
I absolutely love it here. I love this job. I love the work and the company. I don't really want to have to leave. I want to work for this company for the rest of my life. I haven’t seen much if anything of any of the actual parks or attractions yet since I've just been working. But I love the area, the warmth and humidity, the palm trees and the geckos everywhere. They remind me of trying to catch geckos as a child at Grandma’s house in Pearl City on Oahu.
The kids seem to be doing fine without me, which is sad but a huge blessing. I happened to get two days in a row off next week, so I might be able to fly home for smk's b'day for an all too short visit. I'm not sure I will have made enough money from my first week to cover a plane ticket, and I'd feel guilty for not spending it on the bills. But at least I've been blessed with the opportunity.
But, enough of that, what you really want to hear about is the bakery work. I am confident that my previous two bakery positions and my years at Aii have prepared me adequately for this job. The best part is that we don’t have to deal with the public or taking orders since this is all just production to replace what was consumed at the various restaurants and quick service places we supply here at the parks on the previous day. Each morning said foodservice places order whatever additional product they want and the morning crew pulls it from the freezers from previous production. They also make some product, but that’s primarily it.
Then when we get in for the afternoon crew they see how many trays of this or that got pulled and we make product to replace that. We have 4-6 people working each shift. We all work together to get all of the baking done which takes 5-6 hours, and then we get our one break to go to lunch. Which should be an hour, but sometimes they only give us 30 minutes because we’re so busy. But after lunch all that’s left to do is put lids or whatever on the hundreds of cakes or whatever we did that day, tray them up, put them away, clean up, and wait around until it’s time to clock out. Some of our freezers are outside the bakery in the back lot, one of which is several hundred yards down the way, so we have to push the product down there, rotate the older stuff up or in front, and basic FIFO stuff like that.
Anyway, not only did they give me expensive new non-slip restaurant shoes I get to keep, but each day I work I get a voucher for lunch ($3.75) and we get free drinks anytime we want inside the restaurant. (soda, or coffee) I usually just get ice water, though.
It took me so long to figure out that they were calling the speed-racks a “tram”. I just couldn’t understand what word they were saying over the noise and stuff. It was funny.
I’m going to ask if it’s okay for me to take any pictures inside of the bakery, maybe just of the equipment after we’re cleaned up or something.
The Hobart mixers here are huge! One of them is taller than me by a lot. And the mixing bowls are proportionally as huge. We use all four of these sizes of Hobart Mixers… The smallest one is the same size as the floor misers we use at Aii in the Baking Kitchen…. Just some perspective.
The ovens are the same as the other bakeries, but they hold two speed-racks at a time instead of just one. I’m still a bit nervous leaning into them to get product rotated since I got the side of my arm burnt off at my first bakery that way.
The best machine is The Unfiller Spot which is a pump that you wheel the entire mixing bowl or cambro over to, put a pump in, and measure out exact amounts of batter or whatever into your prepped containers. You can change how much product you want to come out, up to 100ml, and adjust the speed. The nozzle also swivels a bit to give the operator some control to aim with as they put the product into whatever it’s going in. Mostly individual cups or bowls for the quick-service places. It’s harder than it looks and it’s rather involved to clean each day. But you can tray up a dozen or so speed-racks of product a day, so it’s an obviously beneficial investment. I got trained on it during week three, but I’ll tell you about it next week.
The first half of the week was finishing up my training before I could actually get into the kitchen. I did get to spend one of my off days visiting the Food & Wine Festival at Epcot, which was interesting. But I didn’t get as much out of it as my roommates did since I don’t drink. I did try the cheese trio plate which was delicious. But I did not understand why the cheddar was drowning in a puddle of honey for example.
I've been working hard at the Production Bakery inside The Brown Derby at Disney Hollywood Studios here in Orlando, FL. Today marks the last day of my first week of On the Job Training, so I then get to remove my "Earning My Ears" ribbon from my name badge. That also means I can't point at it and say "Sorry, I'm new here!"
I've been so very very lonely down here. I hardly ever see my roommates, and I'm the only one at work who doesn't speak Spanish, so they're always talking to each other in Spanish and even blast Latin music so I'm constantly out of my depth on what is going on. On the other hand, when they do switch to English I can be pretty sure to look up since they're probably talking to me.
Everyone is so very nice. We work well together, and I try to just do whatever I'm asked to do with a smile, learn their procedures, try to do it well, do it right, get done quickly, and work to get faster, and just watch everything around me and learn everything I can. I've already learned so many little tips and tricks for better ways to do things just from watching how the others prep their trays or whatever it is. Since this is the first time I've had dozens of trays at a time of product to do, there are ways to do high volume stuff that I'd never had to come up with before at either of the bakeries I’ve worked in.
I haven’t made any major mistakes and I work hard. I try to at least be working as fast as the seasoned person working next to me, and if I can keep up with them I figure I'm on the right track.
I absolutely love it here. I love this job. I love the work and the company. I don't really want to have to leave. I want to work for this company for the rest of my life. I haven’t seen much if anything of any of the actual parks or attractions yet since I've just been working. But I love the area, the warmth and humidity, the palm trees and the geckos everywhere. They remind me of trying to catch geckos as a child at Grandma’s house in Pearl City on Oahu.
The kids seem to be doing fine without me, which is sad but a huge blessing. I happened to get two days in a row off next week, so I might be able to fly home for smk's b'day for an all too short visit. I'm not sure I will have made enough money from my first week to cover a plane ticket, and I'd feel guilty for not spending it on the bills. But at least I've been blessed with the opportunity.
Then when we get in for the afternoon crew they see how many trays of this or that got pulled and we make product to replace that. We have 4-6 people working each shift. We all work together to get all of the baking done which takes 5-6 hours, and then we get our one break to go to lunch. Which should be an hour, but sometimes they only give us 30 minutes because we’re so busy. But after lunch all that’s left to do is put lids or whatever on the hundreds of cakes or whatever we did that day, tray them up, put them away, clean up, and wait around until it’s time to clock out. Some of our freezers are outside the bakery in the back lot, one of which is several hundred yards down the way, so we have to push the product down there, rotate the older stuff up or in front, and basic FIFO stuff like that.
Anyway, not only did they give me expensive new non-slip restaurant shoes I get to keep, but each day I work I get a voucher for lunch ($3.75) and we get free drinks anytime we want inside the restaurant. (soda, or coffee) I usually just get ice water, though.
It took me so long to figure out that they were calling the speed-racks a “tram”. I just couldn’t understand what word they were saying over the noise and stuff. It was funny.
I’m going to ask if it’s okay for me to take any pictures inside of the bakery, maybe just of the equipment after we’re cleaned up or something.
The Hobart mixers here are huge! One of them is taller than me by a lot. And the mixing bowls are proportionally as huge. We use all four of these sizes of Hobart Mixers… The smallest one is the same size as the floor misers we use at Aii in the Baking Kitchen…. Just some perspective.
The ovens are the same as the other bakeries, but they hold two speed-racks at a time instead of just one. I’m still a bit nervous leaning into them to get product rotated since I got the side of my arm burnt off at my first bakery that way.
Disney week 1: The Journey begins.
After a brief nap I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep again before checking in the following morning, so we just stayed up and drove over to the Housing Check-in at Vista Way. They started at 9am, but since housing is first-come-first-served, it was recommended to be early. We arrived shortly after 7am, but weren't allowed passed the gates yet. Though, the other cast members arriving by taxi or bus from the airport got to sit inside the gates, so they got first dibs... :/
Here's me on my way to check-in:
It was quickly apparent that everyone checking in for the Disney College Program that day were in the culinary program. At least one other person in the group was also a Baking & Pastry student. There were only about 30 of us that day.
We hiked across the complex to a building at the back where we checked in, signed paperwork, and had our photos taken for our housing ID cards. We also received our housing assignments. So after finishing up there, we all departed to our new assigned living spaces and allowed to unpack before being required to meet again at the casting office for more background checks, I-9 documentation, direct deposit, and so forth.
When asked what the most difficult Secret Ingredient she ever had on Iron Chef was Barracuda. “That is one ugly fish. It’s got teeth. It’s got no meat on it. It is the toughest, wiry, chewiest fish you have ever put in your mouth. It’s not a salmon. I did rock it and I did not make ice cream out of it.”
She answered one of my questions, which was “As a female Celebrity Chef, do you feel pressure to wear make-up? And if so, do you have any tips for those other females in the kitchen on how to try to feel that we look professional and pretty but not have it melt off our face while we’re trying to cook?”
She said that she doesn’t feel any pressure to wear make-up, she just loves make-up. But she didn’t wear any of that for a very long time in kitchen. Everything has its time and place, when she’s on Iron Chef she doesn’t wear high heels while she’s running around. She said, “You should wear what you feel good in. If you don’t love wearing make-up don’t wear it. If you love jewelry, wear it. You should do what you feel comfortable as woman, don’t ever feel pressure from anybody to do what you don’t feel good in.”
Some pictures from Traditions:
Am I the only one who draws parallels with coming to The Happiest Place on Earth and going to The Castle with working to get to The Celestial Kingdom and going to The Temple? .... hmmm. Just some food for thought.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
A Passion for Chocolate
"Once upon a time a prince went to battle, to defend the borders of his father's kingdom against a hostile tribe. His wife, the princess, was left to guard the kingdom's vast treasure.
"The invaders were fierce - they defeated the prince's army and advanced on the capital city. Alarmed, the princess hid the treasure. The barbarians took the city, captured the princess, and ransacked the royal keep, seeking the treasure. Not finding it, they tortured the princess. Despite her prolonged suffering, she did not reveal the treasure's hiding place.
"Enraged, the barbarians killed her. But from her blood sprouted the cacao plant, and ever since that time people have known that there is treasure hidden in it's seeds, as rich and strong as love itself, but as bitter as love torn asunder."
-- Chocolate Passion: Recipes and Inspiration from the Kitchens of Chocolatier Magazine by Tish Boyle and Timothy Moriarty
"The invaders were fierce - they defeated the prince's army and advanced on the capital city. Alarmed, the princess hid the treasure. The barbarians took the city, captured the princess, and ransacked the royal keep, seeking the treasure. Not finding it, they tortured the princess. Despite her prolonged suffering, she did not reveal the treasure's hiding place.
"Enraged, the barbarians killed her. But from her blood sprouted the cacao plant, and ever since that time people have known that there is treasure hidden in it's seeds, as rich and strong as love itself, but as bitter as love torn asunder."
-- Chocolate Passion: Recipes and Inspiration from the Kitchens of Chocolatier Magazine by Tish Boyle and Timothy Moriarty
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Baking Science & Theory wk8
Custards
This was my absolute favorite week to date! We were able to make “Banana Walnut Bread Pudding with a Butter Rum Sauce”, “Pot De Creme”, “Creme Brulee”, and “Creme Caramel”, also known as Flan. I had the joyous task of working primarily on the flan.
The Flan base called for the use of a vanilla bean, which was my
first time to be privileged to work with that expensive ingredient. Having been raised on Imitation Vanilla
Extract for all of my baking needs, the real thing took my pallet to an
entirely new realm completely. I eagerly
look forward to working with this diverse pod again in the future.
I was most
excited to finally begin working with sugar to make the caramel top for the
flan.
Since the first time I sat down to
a show of Food Network Challenge six years ago, it has been my dream to learn
how to make sugar sculptures, and work in that limitless, delicate, edible
genre of artistic expression!
It was
something of a disappointment, therefore, when my first batch of caramel
burnt.
The second batch came out
perfectly. I kept wanting to take the
sugar mixture off the burner too soon, for fear of burning it again. But my instructor was so kind as to help me
with it tremendously.
I learned that we
wanted it to darken a bit further than that of Clover Honey, which I have some
familiarity with.
Our products
were critiqued well, which made me very happy. Our instructor complimented our products as a whole, and said they look
nice.
He said nice job on the Flan; it
has good flavor and texture. He went on to explain that the main difference
between that and the other custards is the caramel. It has a bit of a different
texture from the extra protein from the additional egg whites. Also, this product tends to need care to not
get too rubbery. This dialogue made me
concerned that our flan came out poorly. But, when asked to clarify he said our
flan was quite good! I was so pleased, I
did a little dance after he left.
The Crème
Brulee was pronounced to look nice, and was really good. The only thing was that it was served still
warm, due to time constraints.
We were
advised that it would set up more as it cools, but that you want it to be creamy
and to not set up.
Likewise to the flan, the crème brulee should not be rubbery.
We should not concern ourselves too much with
that, however, since our final product was graded as having been done
perfectly.
The Banana
Bread Pudding was also called good.
However, the banana pieces seemed a little large, and should be mashed
more.
Also, the nuts should have been chopped a bit more.
But, he still said it
tastes good, and we did a good job.
Finally, the
Chocolate Pot De Crème tasted good, but was a little runny, and needed to cook
longer.
Part of the reason was the cup which was used to bake it in due to the
lack of ramekins available in the kitchen.
In that case, we should have not filled the cup so much, which would allow the product to cook faster and to set up more.
That is very valuable insight that will continue to be valuable in the future.
In that case, we should have not filled the cup so much, which would allow the product to cook faster and to set up more.
That is very valuable insight that will continue to be valuable in the future.
Overall, he
said “Good Job, Guys”, and I couldn't agree more. Yay!
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