"Breaking"

I wrote this one evening as I had reached my limit, dealing with my stressed husband trying to rush off to work, and dealing with my two demanding, screaming, sometimes downright abusive and mean to me children.

I know my kids are small, and I need to try to teach them to behave nicely, but that task is soooooooo overwhelming sometimes. How am I supposed to teach something that I don't always master so well myself? I try to cut myself some slack, and point out that any parent is only human, and we are all failable. But I still want to be the very best parent, person, and Dalyn that I can possible be!!! And that much stress is bound to make a person break down at times.

This was one of those times. Not only did everything seem like it was falling apart, but I felt trapped in this hostile situation. I even felt guilty for longing a bit to return to the days when I was a newleywed without children.

And all that stress,
hostility,
guilt,
longing,
pressure,
and overwhelming sadness,
is enough
to make anyone
feel like they are breaking
a little bit inside.



"Breaking"
By: Dalyn K. Roney

The pain is tearing me up inside.
The madness is forcing me to cry.
And the noise is screaming in my brain.

The tragedy of freedom past.
The insanity of chaos massed.
The anger and the torment never relent.

I feel the conflict eating me whole.
I sense the danger of losing control.
I fear the consequences unknown.

But I am at wit's end.
And I don't know where to turn instead.

I feel like I am breaking.