Saturday, February 2, 2008

"When All Has Been Forgotten"

This is a song I started writing last year. It was a hard year.

"When All Has Been Forgotten"
By: Dalyn K. Roney

When all has been forgotten
All things fullfilled as promised
I will Finally see
all the things
that were hidden from me
while I was far
from home.

My Trials will be far behind me
The powers of Fear
Won't Harm Me!
I will Finally be
Completely Free
From the Worries
That kept me from moving on.

And He will
Save me
And He will
Carry Me Home...

When all has been Forgiven
United with Dead and Living
When we reach the End
We'll See Unseen Friends
Who had Carried us through
our lives 'till then.

And we can
know all God's Love
And we can
go home above.

And He will
Save me
And He will
Carry me HOME ...

Motherhood Changes Everything -- and NEVER STOPS changing!

Before my husband and I got married, my Bishop told me to try to wait at least a year after marriage before having a baby.

His reason was so that my husband and I could enjoy that unique time together before the babies come along, and build a foundation together. So that when I'm a young mom, worn out, tired, cranky, hormonal, and trying my best to cram work, motherhood, household stuff, and being a wife into my hectic life --- my husband will know that I'm his number one fan, and that he's my number one favorite. . .

Well, the adjustment period after the wedding before the baby came lasted three full years -- and I am so thankful that we had that time to ourselves!!

A couple weeks before I learned I was pregnant, I got laid off from a really great job. So I spent my entire pregnancy frantic to find work so that I could take care of my baby! I started working around the clock for someone, and I was so motivated and focused on the possibilities of earning enough to wipe out the debt we'd fallen into. I kind of looked at the mysterious, looming, "life after baby is born" as some far off bump in the road that will barely slow me down on my high powered road to success.

But after my baby was born, everything changed. I know that sounds cliche, but that's because it is so very very true. I kept working for a few months until I was burnt out, and I'll admit, given the baby blues, and the weird hormones, plus the stress and long nights, I had gone a little bonkers. I had lost my mind.

And after four months of trying to work, AND be a full-time NURSING MOTHER, AND be a full-time wife, AND do everything else we women put ourselves through . . . I knew I had to draw a line somewhere. So after the thousandth prayer and tearfull conversation with my husband, I decided the place my life had to give was my career.

I quit the following week.
That was sad.
But it was more than worth it!

I knew that I did NOT want my baby to be raised in a car seat. And everything in our lives improved! I have not regretted choosing my family, my husband, and my daughter, over the silly people I used to work for at all.

But what to do now?

My daughter is over a year old, we're broke, and my husband wants me to go back to work. I think the struggle to balance being home with our children and going out into the world never stops. My own mother stayed home with all six of her children until the youngest was in school, then dusted off her college degree and became a successful Real Estate Broker.

And there are benefits from being able to get out of the house and pursue your own dreams and ambitions before you feel too old or tired to do so; and fullfill the dreams of your children instead. . .

I guess I'm saying you'll know what to do when the time comes.

And all the times that follow. . .