Wednesday, April 29, 2009


There are lots of different kinds of fights. Sports competitions are fights. Haggling with a merchant to get a better deal on something is a fight. Any parent knows that every day is a fight. War is obviously a fight. Families fight. Countries fight. Sometimes a bit of healthy rivalry is good for comradery or the marketplace. But when it comes to verbal fights there are a few universal truths:

There are two sides to every story.
Sometimes more.

Everyone thinks they are right, and they want their way.

And they want a "compromise" that works out the best for themselves.

Now, a mediator might say that a good compromise is one that no one is completely happy with. Because that means that everyone had to relinquish something in order for the compromise to take place. Others will say a good compromise is one where everyone leaves thinking they got more of their way than the other guy, and so they are happy.

But when you step back from a fight you are in, completely believing that you are right, and you have the right to be right, and your compromise up to this point has been to try to be patient while waiting for the other party to admit that you are right, and do what you wanted...

When you step back and ask yourself, "Am I really right? Or just being selfish because I want my own way?" How in the world do you find the answer??? ...


I started this last week.

I kept it back thinking I would have more to add later. But I realized that I do not. I still don't know what I am supposed to do. *sigh*

.. When you fight, sometimes it is better after because you get things out in the open, so you have a chance to deal with them. If you're having a problem and now you can both work on a solution, then that is a good thing. But more often than not, everyone just feels sad that there was a fight at all. And it's exaughsting.

As a mother of a strong willed daughter in her terrible-twos, I am so tired of any fighting...

But for what it's worth, the fight between my husband and I that sparked this blog in the first place? I still absolutely believe that I am right, I have the "right" in this case to get my way, and the whole family would benefit from it.

But I still also feel a bit selfish for holding out until I get my way.

Life is so complicated.

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