Monday, July 12, 2010

Things not going as well

Things are not going as well as I'd like them to be at this point. As usual, I feel the most mean and miserable when my basic human needs are not met: sleep, eat, breathe, go to the bathroom, live free from assault or injury.... 

. . . I feel wretched when I get so fed up with the constant abuse from my children that I want to run away, and not be a parent anymore. Do all parents feel this way sometimes?


I just need a break from the unrelenting waves of attack. That was why giving birth was so painful: the intense pain I could handle once or twice, but the throws of pain one right after the other without pause or recovery is overwhelming and too much to endure... That is what it's like for me to be home alone with the kids all the time.

Any helpful advice?  :-/

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

1 comment:

  1. Yes! 1) you are not alone. I still feel that way sometimes. It's not just our kids. It's the world they are growing up in. The movies especially, and public schools teach them to not trust their parents, and that parents are always wrong and kids are always right. 2) Lean on the Lord. it's the only thing that will get you through day after day. 3) remember that NOTHING... NOTHING is more important than teaching them how to get back to heavenly father and that YOU are the only one that can do that. Therefore YOUR job IS the MOST important in all the world. it doesn't feel that way when you're in the trenches, but it's still true. 4) buy the "Love and Logic" book/CD's. It is an amazing and TRUE program for raising well adjusted children. It's all about setting boundaries and forcing YOURSELF to keep those boundaries. We are terrible about remember the consequences we tell our children they're going to get if they do "xyz". The trick is to remember and follow through and be consistent. It's HARD. But it pays off! I promise! 5) I remember Pres. Hinckley saying one time long ago that the trick to kids learning is our repeating things over and over for 20 years. How many times do we hear/say "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times not to do that!" We all say it. But we have to remind ourselves that they are NOT going to "get it" until they are AT LEAST 21!!!! IF then! Sometimes not till 30!!!

    Motherhood is the hardest thing in the world. THAT is why everyone WANTS to put their kids in daycare all day long, and send them off the school from the age of 3 or 4.

    You are not alone. We all suffer through it. It's the hardest to be a mother in today's day-and-age. We are on a spiritual escalator that is going DOWN while we are trying to go UP. But we CANNOT give up.

    I had to go through therapy and learn how to not be codependent. I read "Codependent No More" and it was one of the greatest helps I've ever had! But it's worth it if you follow it!

    Also - I highly recommend you attend the Church's ARP program (that stands for Addiction Recovery Program). It's not just any 12-step program. And it's not just for alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. It's for ANYONE wanting to know how to "come unto Christ and be perfected in HIM." It is an AMAZING class and truly the only place you'll be able to open up and be yourself without others trying to carry you and do things for you. They let you do things for yourself, and it's so freeing!!! you OWN your own emotions and the outcomes of any choices you make. It changed our lives! We took that class for 3 years! It's not something you ever "finish". It is a way of life! Like the Gospel.

    Dalyn, Hang in there. Heavenly Father is aware of you. He knows what your needs are. He knows your heart and mind. He knows what is needed. Lean on Him and trust in Him alone. He will see you through it all.

    Big hugs to you!