Saturday, January 5, 2013

Disney week 10: Finale. (Finally?)

I never even finished this last one at the time. Here is what I wrote:


Wed, Dec 12, 2012

As I write my final report of this experience, I am in the middle of driving home from Florida to Indiana.

Okay, I’m not driving right this moment.

That would be dangerous.

And probably beyond my mental capacity at the moment.

The end of my program came to an abrupt end. At the conclusion of my second to last week was the first day for two new college program students. There had also been a new professional intern the week or so before, and the other college program person had extended their program as well.

So with four extra people in the kitchen, the Chef pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to wrap things up a week early since he just has too many people on the payroll right now, and maybe it would be best for me in my "condition".

So, that became my last day of work. I thanked the Chef and finished working. Oddly, that was the hardest day I had experienced work wise in the entire program. And sadly, my favorite coworker was not there that day. So I promised to come back and say goodbye before I leave.

Returning the following day was bitter sweet.

It was sad to be there for a final time.

I timed my visit to be about when their lunch break would be so I wouldn’t bother them at work. When I walked into the cafeteria to say goodbye, said coworker, my Pueto Rico Papi, looked up and said “Oh, Mami, I’ve been crying all day. I haven’t gotten any work done because I’ve been crying and these one [gesturing to the new girls] is too slow.” He even offered to help me drive back to Indy.

After a few farewell hugs and pictures, I departed with as much professional dignity as I could muster.

And I miss all of them.


*sad sigh*

My final days in the Disney College Program were filled with dread to leave because I knew I would never have an opportunity like this again, and impatience to return home to my family.

It took a few days to wrap up loose ends; make sure all of the paperwork and stuff was completed with each i dotted and t crossed. I turned in all uniforms, keys, and ID cards. I spent a couple fun nights saying goodbye to dear friends, and went back to my tiny apartment and packed some more.

Oh, and let's not forget the Christmas Shopping that needed to be completed!

I still feel guilty for missing both of my young children's birthdays. I was determined to make this the best, most generous Christmas ever.

Basically all of my tiny paychecks went to room & and board or presents for friends and family. What was the point of this whole ordeal if I didn't get to spoil my children, nieces, and nephews, and everyone who picked up the slack for me while I was away?

(And let me tell you, the loss of the cast member discount when I got back to real life was painful. lol)

But my main regret was that I didn't get to see anything of New Fantasyland before I left. And it doesn't seem likely that I will ever get such an opportunity to see it again. *sigh*

c'est la vi.

I miss a lot of it now. Particularly my best friends.

It was such a wonderful opportunity, and a beautiful nurturing place to live. ...

I brought home a couple house geckos with me that I caught outside my apartment before I left. They have adapted to their new terrerium, and grow fat and lazy under my lavish care.

*small smile* I look at them all the time with mixed feelings of accomplishment and sadness. Not just for now, but for opportunities lost all over. *staring whistfully into the distance*

...The drive home was an expereince all unto itself. I dislike roadtrips and closed in spaces. And I've never driven anywhere close to that far by myself before. But I knew it would have been so much more difficult to make room for another person to help drive me home. But more than that, I couldn't bare to have to talk about everything that's happened yet with no way out to get some peace. *sigh*

So, it took the drive slowly, stopped when I needed to, and listened to lots of showtunes. Each time I stopped for gas it seemed to be at least 10 degrees colder, and I was like, "Why the heck am I still driving north???!?" *laughs softly*

The hardest part has been the welcoming well wishers who want to hear all about the experience as they smile at me expectantly.
It is uncomfortable.
What can I say?
Pretend it was the best thing that ever happened to me?
Cop out and joke that it was humid?

I've mostly given mixed responses like, "It was an incredible opportunity. It was extreme and difficult. I am so thankful I was able to be there. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But hopefully not anytime soon, because it is just so wonderful to be home."

So that's the truth of how I feel. And now you know something of the sad details that played out in the background.

1 comment:

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